Self Preservation
by jaed621
Summary: SEASON 2 SPOILERS! B and B unravel in every way, both question their sanity and try to find their way. Please R & R.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: They are not mine and yet I will continue to do with them as I please.

Rating is currently a soft T.

A/N: New story and I have such a plan for this one, hope you enjoy, please review and let me know what you think. How many times a day do you have someone so genuinely interested in what you, personally, think?

Chapter 1: Things Are Not Always As They Seem

She stared at the cell phone, Booth's number glaring back at her. Why didn't she want to call him? Because she found out he was sleeping with Cam, after just sleeping with Rebecca. So what, they weren't dating, she wasn't really angry, so what was her problem? She continued ruminating, hoping to trip over some revelation. What did she feel? She took a deep breath, flooding her brain with oxygen in an attempt to clarify her thoughts. Hurt, she felt hurt and disappointed, she was disappointed in him. Then in a flash it came to her why, because when she was dating on line he told her he dated women that he cared about, he asked her if she believed in the magic of love at first sight, seeing someone across a crowded room and knowing. He lied to her and the worst part was, she had wanted to believe him, every time he had shifted his dark gaze on her from across a room she had wanted to believe it. She had seen people that were in love although she never felt that way herself; she wondered how it happened to them. It wasn't the sex, she could do that, chemical reactions, serotonin release, heat generated from nothing but burning energy, and she understood the science of it, but unlike him, she had never pretended it was anything else.

Booth, who had been interpreting the world for her for the last year, had led her to believe there was magic when some people met and even though she had never experience it and it went against all her logic, part of her wanted to believe it may be true. Deep down she had thought that spark flickered between them. He had lied to her, no matter how she looked at it. He had hidden his relationship with Cam as though there was something to be ashamed of, maybe because he had no magic with her, it was only sex. On the other hand, he said he had to feel something to have sex with a woman, which is why she understood the fling with Rebecca. So did he have feelings for Cam, or was he lying about the magic? Her head was spinning, he had lied about the magic, that part she was sure of and it was part of her disappointment. He had fed it to her like you feed a child a fairytale and the little girl that she had once been, before there was science in her world, wanted it to be true. She was mad at herself for listening to him. He wasn't the man she thought he was, it turned out he was like everyone else, living a life of self gratification and assuaging his guilt by trying to convince himself there was something magical happening.

The number continued to glare, his message had said he had an update on her parent's case and he knew that was the one reason she would call, had to call. She had thought he was different, a burn spread across her chest, a pain born from knowing you were alone in the world, she had felt it since the day her brother left, after her parents disappeared. It had abated a little since knowing Booth, the edges of it softened by the strange relationship they shared. Maybe she had idolized him too much, as she had Russ when they were children; maybe she had created an image of him that didn't really exist. It didn't matter now that she could see him clearly; she would go back to being just his partner, after all, if he had feelings for both Cam and Rebecca then he obviously gave his affection away easily and she would have to question its value. It gave her a strange sense of satisfaction, despite the pain, to know that she had been right from the beginning, you can't count on anyone but yourself and all that talk of love and marriage and living happily ever after was nothing but a lie. She straightened in her chair, fighting the fatigue that had been chasing her the last few hours. She decided it was time to go home, it was late and her thoughts of Booth had brought back too many old feelings, although the ache was strangely comforting in its familiarity, it still exhausted her.

She organized her desk for the next morning, jotting a quick note to Angela and sticking it on a file to drop on her desk before she left. She gathered her things and set them on the chair by the door, heading to Angela's office with the file. She was surprised to see a light coming from under the door in the room that held the Angelator, she didn't think anyone else was here, maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the light. She opened the door and stopped in her tracks, the computer was running, the Angelator was slowly creating a face. She walked over to the machine, puzzled; Angela usually had to be here to feed data into the system as she went, to allow for adjustments to be made, so how could it be running? Temperance studied the computer screen as the lines of programming churned by, telling her nothing. Perhaps Angela had found a way for the unit to run an auto program; it would certainly be a time saver if that were true. She turned to leave the office and froze in her tracks, staring at the face suspended in space before her. It was her mother.

Why would Angela be running her mother's facial reconstruction program? It was startling to see her, so precisely the way Temperance remembered her. She stood watching for a moment, her body trembling with the need to touch her, to hug her, even if it was just one more time. She had missed her so much over the years, feeling the loss of her everyday in almost everything she did, especially in those first years and more recently because she knew for certain she was never coming back. Maybe this had something to do with Booth wanting to talk to her.

"Temperance."

She jumped, her heart pounding with surprise at the sound of her name. She turned, finally spinning completely around, but she was alone in the room.

"Temperance."

The hair on her arms and neck stood up, prickling her skin. It wasn't her imagination, someone had spoken, again she scanned the room, but she was alone. She looked at the face of her mother, her brain unwilling to grasp what her senses told her to be true. She stared at it intently for a moment, watching this time as the lips moved and the eyes focused on her.

"Temperance, you have to listen to me." A chill swept over her body and her palms began to sweat. This had to be some kind of a trick, some program gone haywire in the computer. She wanted to back out of the room but found herself firmly rooted to the floor, her body not responding to the screaming commands inside her head. It was her mother's voice; part of her knew it even as she tried to remember what her mother had sounded like all those years ago.

"Temperance, I don't have much time, please listen to me. I miss you, I'm sorry I couldn't come home. I wanted to, with all my heart, you and Russ were all I thought about, but I needed you to be safe. I wanted you to be able to grow up and be happy, have a life that wasn't crippled by everything your father and I had done. You have to stop looking for your father, if they find him; they're going to kill him and then you and Russ. Please Tempe, for me, just stop looking. I couldn't bear it if you were all lost after so many sacrifices were made to keep you safe. I just want you to be happy. Are you? Are you happy?"

She didn't move, her mouth slack, her eyes wide with shock, she felt incapable of doing anything. Her eyes filled with tears as the face of her mother smiled at her, waiting for an answer that she did not have the voice to give. She could feel the panic uncurl in her belly, spreading through her, knowing this could not be happening. She moved suddenly, running over to Angela's computer she bent down and jerked the plug from the wall, watching as the desk monitor went black. She sighed heavily, trying to collect herself but she could feel the fear walking up her spine as she slowly turned around to see the image still there, in front of her, crystal clear above the projection table.

"Why don't you answer me Temperance? There are so many things I want to say to you and so little time. Don't be afraid, that's why I'm talking to you, because I knew you wouldn't run, you were always my brave daughter, beautiful and brilliant and brave. I love you Temperance, I always have and I always will."

The tears were sliding down her face but she didn't move to wipe them away, her hands were trembling and her mind was racing, trying to find answers to all the questions rocketing around in her head. She was tempted to speak to her, part of her wanted desperately to hear herself utter the word mom but her logical mind told her this was not real and to answer it would be to confirm her own insanity.

"Temperance I have to go. You and Russ hug each other for me, and stop looking for your father; it won't bring you answers, only trouble. You never answered my question about being happy, I hope you are, good-bye bug."

The image before her dissipated into the air and the display unit went dark. Her hand came up from her side as though she was going to reach out but her fingers fluttered in the air and returned to her side. Only her mother had ever called her bug, when she was very little she would call her love bug, snuggle bug, science bug, busy bug or some other form, in the end she shortened it to just bug as she tucked her in at night. Temperance had never told anyone about the term of endearment and had in fact all but forgotten about it herself until just that moment. Her body was trembling and fear gripped her as surely as a hand around her throat. Darkness threatened at the edges of her vision and she grabbed her left wrist, digging her nails into her flesh, unaware through the fog of adrenaline that she had drawn blood. She didn't want to pass out and she needed to make sure she was awake, that this wasn't a dream. When the pain registered in her brain she ran from the room, snatching only her bag from the chair by the door in her office, abandoning her files and heading for the door. She forced herself to calm down to a rapid walk as she approached the security guard at the door, nodding at him and jogging out to her car. Once she was securely locked inside she paused and took a deep breath, knowing she needed to collect herself to be able to drive. Her heart was hammering at a dangerous rate and a cold sweat broke across her skin. She shook her head and started the car, turning on the heat to try to bring back some semblance of warmth to her limbs.

After a few moments she snapped open her phone and dialed Angela's number, she just couldn't wait until morning.

"Dead people are our business so this better be something better than that Bren; it's two in the morning." Her voice was heavy with sleep and irritation.

"Ange, it's important and I'll only keep you a minute. Did you start an Angelator program tonight before you left?" Her voice was still shaking and she didn't sound right, even to herself.

"No, it can't run on its own and I haven't had it up and running for a few days. What's this about Bren? You sound funny to me." Her tone had turned to one of concern.

"Can the projection monitor run independently from your computer?" She needed to get some answers before she gave any.

"No, it's basically just a three dimensional screen, it has to have input to project anything. You're scaring me, what's going on?"

"I was at work and the Angelator was running a program, it was doing a facial reconstruction all on it's own."

Angela was awake now, "Bren, that's not possible."

"Ange, I'm not crazy, I was just there, it was not only running a program, the face was my mother's." Her voice cracked on the last word.

"Honey, are you sure you weren't dreaming? The unit doesn't have that capability, even if there was a power surge or something tripped the program on somehow, it can't run on its own." Her voice was soft as though she were explaining something to a small child.

Temperance looked down at her wrist where crescent shaped cuts were just crusting with dried blood. "I wasn't dreaming Ange, I even pinched myself to be sure, but it doesn't really matter, we can look at it tomorrow. I'm sure there's an explanation for it but don't use the system at all until I get there. You go back to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you." She hung up before Angela had a chance to reply. She hadn't even mentioned that the unit had continued to work after she unplugged the computer, or that the face had spoken to her. She needed to go home, get some sleep and look this all over in the morning when she could have the system checked for problems.

As she drove home she contemplated calling Booth and then decided it was a bad idea. It was late and he may not be alone and as much as she wanted to hear some reassurance from the man she once trusted, she no longer thought he existed. The rush of tears surprised her, she reigned in her emotions, putting the thoughts of him away, locking down that part of herself. When she got home she wanted and needed nothing more than her bed. She was curled up in it within ten minutes, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, rocking gently in a primitive gesture of self comfort as she sobbed, mourning everyone she had ever lost.

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Temperance was in her office when Angela arrived, already going over files.

"Bren, what the hell happened last night?" She was more worried than anything but in truth she was a little irritated at having been brushed off in the middle of the night.

"I told you Angela, the Angelator was running a program when I was here last night. I walked by on my way to put a file on your desk and the light under the door caught my attention, when I opened the door the unit was working on a face." Her voice was clear, steady and clinical; there was no trace of the woman that had been so upset.

"Well, let's go take a look at it, you can walk me through it and maybe I can figure out what happened." She stood waiting while Temperance closed the files, pulled on her lab coat and came over to walk with her.

As soon as they reached the office Angela went to turn on the system.

"Oh, I unplugged the computer, to stop the program, but it didn't work."

Angela was staring at her as though she were speaking another language. "Bren, what was on the screen when you pulled the plug? And can I ask why the power button wasn't an option?" She bent down and plugged the system back into the wall and then turned and waited for an answer.

"Look, last night was…complicated"

"It must have been because you didn't call me back." Booth's voice from the door startled both women.

"I was busy Booth but you can update me now." Her tone was definitely cold. Angela turned to the computer and turned it on, watching it load and looking for warnings.

He looked at her with a curious expression, "did your parents have any friends or relatives in Canada? We traced a call we believe was made by your father to a place in Canada, after it had been deflected half way around the globe that is."

"I don't really know. We traveled to Canada when I was young but I can't remember if it was to see someone specific. My dad would go and run errands, he could have been meeting someone, I don't really know. Maybe Russ would remember, I'll call him later today." She showed no response to him at all.

"Bren, shouldn't you tell him about last night?" Angela's voice caused them both to turn to her.

"No Angela, it really isn't any of his business and it has nothing to do with the case." The two women locked their gaze for a moment while Angela contemplated whether or not to push the issue, she knew something else was going on, Temperance was acting strangely.

Booth put his hand on her arm and turned her toward him, "maybe you should tell me and let me decide if it's important or not."

"Take your hand off of me, Booth." Her hostility was palpable and he dropped his hand to his side.

"Temperance what's the matter with you?" He seemed genuinely confused.

"There is nothing the matter with me." She was cut off by Cam's voice from the doorway.

"Well no wonder I couldn't find any of you. Are we having a party in here?" She was glancing back and forth between Booth and Brennan.

"No, why would you ask something so ridiculous?" Brennan was staring her down, there was not a flicker in the smooth blue of her eyes.

"I'm just trying to get a handle on what my team is up to this morning." Cam centered her focus on Brennan.

"Dr. Saroyan I'm working, we're having a problem with the Angelator, I assure you there are no unauthorized experiments being conducted here so unless you actually need something I'd like to get back to work." She turned her back to Cam and took the two steps over to the desk where Angela sat with her eyes wide desperately trying to act like she was working on something on the screen. "Booth unless you have something else to tell me, I've said all I needed to say. I'll contact you after I talk to Russ." She never turned to look at him.

"Dr. Brennan I would like to talk to you." Cam's voice was as smooth as polished steel and she was staring at Seeley with a death glare.

"I have work to do, but I'll make some time this afternoon, you can find me in my office at three o'clock." She never looked up from the computer screen, her body language clearly stating that she had dismissed them both from further conversation.

In her peripheral vision she watched first Booth, then Cam storm out of the office. Angela didn't speak, she realized that Temperance had found out about Booth and Cam and she felt guilty for not having told her friend. It was an act of betrayal and in response she could see that Bren had shut down.

"This is really bizarre but according to the system there were no programs running last night, no recorded activity for the last three days, no emergency power loss from the cord being pulled and your mother's file hasn't been run since I closed it after the case. There is absolutely nothing here that indicates the incident you described happened at all, except for the computer being unplugged." She spoke softly, knowing that on top of everything else this is not what Temperance wanted to hear. "Sweetie, I'm sorry."

"That can't be right. Could there be another computer tied to the projector?"

"Not without us knowing, it would at least show up on the security system, besides, there isn't another computer in here."

"Does the program have the capability to add sound like the Christmas tree you did last year, wasn't there music playing?"

"Not really, I had music piped into the back ground but the program itself runs without auditory. Why? Did you hear something when it was running?"

Temperance knew the question was asked in innocence and that Ange wasn't considering that she had heard a voice. She wondered how crazy she would sound if she turned around and told her that her mother's face actually spoke to her, was animated, blinked, looked at her with open eyes, smiled. She stared at the projection unit, at the space where, the night before, her mother had said that she missed her. It didn't make sense.

Angela walked over to her, watching her closely as she stared at the machine, lost in thought. She went to reach for her hand and noticed the cuts, now surrounded with spots of purple bruising. Had Brennan struggled with someone? Here at the lab?

Angela's touch was hesitant on her arm, just a light pressure to get her attention, "Bren, please, tell me exactly what happened here last night." Angela could see the anguish in her face and at that moment had to resist the urge to hug her, knowing Temperance would not accept the gesture, especially now.

"It doesn't matter, please just run the computer through a full program and make sure there's no malfunction. Let me know when it's finished, I'll be in my office." With that said Temperance walked briskly away and moved her thoughts to the files still on her desk, she was in a mode of such hyper focus that the building could have burst into flames around her and she wouldn't have noticed.

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Cam approached Dr. Brennan's office, already steaming at having been manipulated into coming to her. It was a power play that she lost and that had proven to her that the good doctor was not as naïve as her friends would like to think. There was a full blown fighting bitch in there, Cam was certain of it. Just outside the door she paused because she could hear voices and quickly realized that Temperance was on the phone, although she knew she shouldn't eavesdrop she quickly decided that Dr. Brennan declared war this morning so all is fair.

"I'll tell you all about it tonight when I see you. You know what a mess things are here so just meet me at my apartment. I love you too. Bye."

Cam was shocked, who could she be talking to with such familiarity? Was Seeley playing some dangerous game between them? Just the idea that Dr. Brennan loved anyone was somewhat surprising to her, she struggled to visualize a warm and fuzzy Temperance and came up with nothing. Realizing that she was just standing in the hall she rounded the corner into the office, and flinched as Temperance glanced at the clock in silent recognition of the fact she was now late. Score two for Dr. Brennan.

Temperance continued to shuffle files on her desk as Dr. Saroyan entered, when she did look up at her the woman was standing in front of her desk with her arms crossed, looking rather irritated. Temperance smiled at her.

"How may I help you Dr. Saroyan?" She couldn't have sounded friendlier but there was an edge beneath her words, blade sharp, the glint showing in her eyes.

For a second Cam was caught off guard, by the voice, by the pleasant question and mostly, by the intense shine in those cool blue eyes. She could see why people were intimidated by this woman.

"Well you can begin by dropping the attitude you have with me." Cam watched the hint of a smile tug at the corners of her mouth and was instantly infuriated that she was amused by the situation.

"Is there some problem with my job performance?" She looked almost innocent as she asked.

"This is not about your job performance; it's about your attitude, specifically your hostile attitude toward me. You may not like me Dr. Brennan but my position here does command your respect."

Without missing a beat Temperance responded, "respect is earned not commanded." The air between them nearly crackled with the sparks of suppressed anger.

"What exactly _is_ your problem with me?" She was tempted to ask her if it was her history with Seeley or the recent sex with him but she was unsure of how much Temperance actually knew and she didn't want to tip her hand.

"Well, you have destroyed the learning and creative environment of this lab and _my_ team and turned what used to be a pleasant and cooperative environment into something just this side of military captivity. You have demonstrated that you are willing to compromise the evidence in an investigation to suit your own conclusions. You have a compulsive need to have everyone report every step of their actions to you as though they are incapable of working without supervision, which is insulting to their abilities and accomplishes nothing but satisfying your raging need to control everyone and everything in your environment. You observe my staff for a few days after your arrival and give them pet names to create the illusion that you've bonded with them and that you actually know them, which just confuses them when you turn around and slap down their ideas because they aren't the same as yours, which is especially ironic because their ideas usually result in a more accurate conclusion. You lack the management skills to handle a group of people with such high IQs so you bully them and count on their lack of social skills to keep them from challenging you." She paused briefly to take a breath and something that Cam couldn't place flickered across her features, she looked for a second as though she was going to continue but decided against it.

Cam's brow seemed to arch higher in shock with each sentence, "are you quite finished?"

"Actually no, but it'll do for now." There it was, the direct matter of fact delivery that Cam found so infuriating.

"Do you feel better, having gotten that off your chest, Dr. Brennan?" She was struggling to remain calm; her voice had lowered to a hiss.

"No, I don't feel better or worse, why would I?" Temperance wasn't sure what it was that Cam was trying to accomplish with this meeting, she was confusing.

"Look, I'm not going to back down, I do my job the way I do because it gets results and I don't really care what you think."

Temperance cut in, starting to get tired of this game, "then why did you ask?"

Cam looked at her questioningly.

"If you don't care what I think, then why did you ask me?"

"Because Dr. Brennan I thought you would tell the truth. Although I believe the things you stated are actual work related issues you have with me I have the feeling that there are other more important, personal issues that remain unnamed."

"Then you are mistaken, because my work is the most important thing to me and let me assure you, I have no personal issues with you." There eyes were locked now and Temperance realized that Cam was talking about Booth, like animals in an alpha pack, neither woman even blinked. "I am more than capable of doing my job here and unless you have an issue with my _job_ performance, I believe we're done here. Unless, there was some other point you were trying to make?"

"So this is not about the fact that I'm sleeping with Seeley? You have no problem with that?" Cam was angry at herself as soon as the words left her lips but she wanted to break this woman's expression, wanted to see some emotional response from her. She had never met anyone over whom she had so little control.

Temperance actually managed a small laugh, her walls having been solidly rebuilt last night, she didn't flinch, she had shed her last tear over Seeley Booth last night. "I don't care who either of you are sleeping with but thank you for volunteering the testimony to your lack of professionalism. I hope the defense attorneys don't find out, I would hate for them to think your _relationship _has compromised evidence or justice for any of their clients." Her cell phone rang and she reached for it, checking the caller id and setting it back down. In that moment Cam saw her wrist and wondered if it was made by someone she knew, in anger or in passion, maybe she had underestimated her.

"If I didn't know better, I would swear you just threatened me Dr. Brennan."

"Not at all Dr. Saroyan, now as I said, I have work to do so unless there is some constructive conversation to be had here, I'd like to get back to it." She turned her attention back to the computer screen, once again dismissing Cam.

"This isn't over between us Dr. Brennan." Cam turned and left the office, her hands curled into fists at her sides she suddenly realized that she had actually been suppressing the urge to slap Brennan. How was it that this one woman could so easily press her buttons? She was angry with herself for loosing control and wondered when Brennan had gotten the upper hand with her. She needed to calm down and think of a way to reach Temperance Brennan, to be able to keep her in line. She knew she was not in the frame of mind to solve this right now so she headed off to see what Zach and Jack were doing this afternoon.

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Once Temperance got her hands to stop shaking she went back to work, burying the thoughts of Booth and Cam, finding comfort in how it was becoming easier each time she did it. Soon it would be true that they didn't matter to her at all. She tackled the folders on her desk, plowing through back logged paperwork and accomplishing more than she had in weeks. It was several hours later when a shadow fell across her desk and she looked up to see Booth standing there.

She sighed deeply, moving her left hand under the desk so she didn't have to answer questions about her wrist.

"Bones, I've been calling your cell all afternoon, why don't you answer it?" He just couldn't leave her alone, he hated when he knew something was wrong between them. It ate at him all day and made it near impossible for him to be productive.

"I'm busy and we don't currently have a case so what is it that you need?" She was as distant as earlier and his expression dropped with disappointment.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to have dinner tonight and then I'm taking Parker to get pumpkins tomorrow and I thought you might like to join us, he asked if you could come." The dinner was a peace offering, he wanted to find out what was wrong between them and the pumpkin idea was really Parkers. Cam wasn't interested in doing anything with his son so he didn't see her when he had Parker but beyond that the child had asked to see Temperance.

She didn't lift her head, finding it easier not to look at him. "I have company tonight and I'm working tomorrow but you have a nice time and tell Parker I said hello."

The comment about company felt like a slap and even though he had more of a sex life than he could handle right now, it always bothered him to be reminded that Temperance had one too. His brain flashed briefly to the image of her, naked, sitting on some hulk of a man, her eyes closed, her perfect lips slightly parted, riding him. He slammed his thoughts in another direction before he got himself into more trouble.

"Are you working all day? Because we can wait to carve the pumpkins until you come over." He sounded hopeful, wanting her to say yes, wanting her to let him fix whatever it was that had gone so terribly wrong.

"Booth, I have plans."

"Temperance, look at me." He waited for her to lift her eyes to his and then gasped slightly at the hostility he saw swimming there. "What is wrong? What have I done that you're shutting me out?" Her gaze switched to one of utter indifference.

"Nothing, I'm just busy." She heard him mutter _damn it _as he left her office. She knew that he thought she was having a man over and she intentionally left out that it was Russ because it wasn't any of his business, at least that's what she told herself.

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Booth was storming through the building when he heard Angela call his name, she directed him to follow her and once in her office she closed the door.

"Look Booth I need to tell you some things because I don't know what happened to Bren last night, but I know something did, before I go over that though you need to know I went and listened to her conversation with Cam and it didn't go well."

Angela had thought all afternoon about whether or not to talk to Booth but after hearing the conversation between Cam and Temperance she decided he needed to know what was happening. She was proud of Bren at first, for holding her own against Cam but by the time it was over she realized that her friend was completely shut down. She told Booth everything, from the phone call to the incident with the computer, to her seeing her mothers face to the marks on her wrist. Then she recounted the whole conversation she had overheard with Cam, watching him visibly flinch when she recounted Cam directly asking about their _relationship_. She knew he was angry by the time she was done.

"Angela, I've slept with her twice, we are NOT in a relationship. What the hell is she doing?"

"Pissing on her territory Booth but Cam went up against Bren on a day when she had all the human sucked right out of her, Cam didn't have a chance. I haven't seen Bren like this for a long time; she has shut back down and slipped into that place she built after her parents left. I'm really worried about her, I just have a really bad feeling about this whole incident last night and the only reason I told you is because I want your help with this. I don't want you running off all vigilante hero on me, I want to know what's going on with her and I want to help. We need to do this together, besides, she's not going to open up to you right now, she may think I betrayed her by knowing and not telling her but you, she must **really** feel betrayed by you."

"Angela, I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not like Bones and I are in a relationship."

"Seeley, Cam didn't run into you naked, don't act so innocent. You know that there has always been something between you and Brennan, that's why you hid the _thing_ with Cam from her. You know if you are going to have other relationships you two need to clear the air between you and you need to quit having sex with women she knows. There's a world of people out there, maybe you could at least date outside her workplace." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm at the last comment.

"Jesus Angela, like I don't feel bad enough."

"You had to know she would find out, now she feels like she's all alone in the world and dealing with this whole other issue that I don't even understand."

"Well, for someone all alone in the world she has _company _coming over tonight. Do you know who she's seeing?"

"I didn't know she was seeing anyone but there are a number of guys she could have called. You know she doesn't say very much about that part of her life, not even to me. Right now we need to worry about what's going on with her as far as this computer incident goes. Do you have any ideas?"

"No, I know first I have to go talk to Cam and let her tell me about the conversation with Bones, but I have no idea how to get Bones to talk, maybe you should come in tomorrow with only the two of you here and try to talk to her."

"Okay, I can say I came in to pick something up and see if I can get her to lunch. I'll call you after I see her."

"Okay, and Ange, do you think I blew it with her? Do you think she'll ever forgive me?"

"I'm sorry Booth but I really don't know at this point." She watched him walk away from her, his shoulders looking heavy, his head down and she felt bad for him. She hadn't exactly told him the truth because she believed he _had_ blown it and that Booth and Brennan would never be the same again.

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New story, new opinions…you know how it works, press the button, express yourself.


	2. Chapter 2

Self Preservation Chapter 2

Disclaimer: they are not mine but as long as I can play with them I don't care, ownership is over rated.

Rating: T for language and sexual situations.

Temperance's tone was completely clinical; she recounted the events in detached detail leaving out only how she felt about it all. When she finished Russ just stared at her for a moment, taking a long drink of his beer. He hadn't interrupted her with questions, silently acknowledging her need to be cathartic, to verbally work her way through it all. If the story had come from anyone else in his entire life's experience he would have said they were crazy, but this was Temperance. Despite her lack of emotion he knew she had been scared and he also knew something had happened but exactly what still remained a mystery to him.

"Well, I don't think you're crazy, but I have to tell you, I'm having trouble coming up with a rational explanation. You went over the system with Angela and she assured you it could not run on its own, there was no other system in the building with the program and there is no audio attached, correct?" He arched his brow in her direction

"Yes and she said that once I unplugged her computer there was no way the projection table could have run on it's own." She was watching him expectantly, wanting another opinion, wanting him to come up with an explanation, really just wanting him to believe her.

"Let's pretend for a moment that it was mom's face talking to you and assume she needed to get you a message, what do you think was the message she came to give, what felt most important to you?"

"There was an odd sense of urgency and I almost expected her to look over her shoulder, it was strange, it wasn't anything she said specifically. Russ, a ghost isn't running from anyone, are you sure this is productive?"

"Tempe you asked me to come and help so let's pick this apart and see where we end up, it can't hurt. Now no matter how it sounds, let's keep going. Why isn't Booth here, couldn't he help us with this?"

Her expression turned dark, "Let's just say I've lost my respect for Booth, this is family business, he doesn't need to be involved."

He was obviously shocked, "did he put you at risk or damage a case?"

"No, Russ, it's personal." She wouldn't look at him.

"Tempe, did he hurt you? Because I thought you two were getting along really well, I sort of expected you would be dating him by now."

She really couldn't deal with this right now, even if she wanted to tell Russ she wasn't sure how she would explain it, she didn't completely understand it herself. "I'm fine, let's just get back to mom's message. She wanted us to know they couldn't come home without putting us in danger. She said she wanted us to stop looking for dad because they were going to kill him and then us, she said that twice, that we should stop looking for him. I think she said we could be in danger twice too but I'm not sure. She said she loved and missed us. Those felt like they were the most important messages, to her." She couldn't help it, her eyes teared and he took her hand, when she spoke again her voice was quivering with the strain of trying to maintain control. "She looked so real Russ, she had her eyes open, she blinked and smiled and moved her lips. It was her voice, not something close, it was _her_ voice."

"Tempe, we'll figure this out. It has to tie to dad; it bothers me that mentioned twice that we should stop looking for him."

"She sounded genuinely concerned for us. Russ, she called me bug. Who knew that but us? She hasn't called me that since I was a child and I never told anyone about it." She was crying softly and he pulled her against him, letting her cry, feeling awkward for only a second. As he squeezed her shoulder it seeped back into him, that feeling of being connected, with their parents gone there would never be anyone in the world that really knew him, except her. All those times his mother had said to him, _she's your sister Russ_, suddenly meant something to him and his heart ached.

"We can figure this out, I know we can. Tomorrow morning I want to go with you to the lab and look at the machines, I don't even know why or what I'm looking for, I just think we should."

"Okay, I was planning on taking you over or letting you sleep and going for a few hours myself, I did have a few things I needed to get done. There may be some people there in the morning; do you want to go over tonight? I hesitated to back by myself. I can't decide if I never want it to happen again so I can convince myself it was a fluke, or if I want it to happen again with a witness so I can prove it took place."

"So, let's grab dinner and then we can go over and look at the equipment."

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Cam was surprised by Seeley's invitation, she knew he had Parker the next morning and had originally told her he had plans tonight. She briefly wondered if a date had cancelled on him and she was second choice. She had wanted to see him because, well the sex was good but she felt she needed to clarify with him exactly what it was they were doing, especially since she was sure Dr. Brennan had found out about them. Her plan was to have sex first and talk later in case things got ugly and also it was her personal experience that if you disarmed a man first all conversations were easier.

Temperance Brennan didn't strike her as the type of woman to have run to Booth after their confrontation in the office; she was the type to handle things herself. Cam couldn't decide how much of the conversation she should repeat; after all, she took some liberties giving Brennan the impression that she and Seeley were actually a couple. Wow that woman had made her angry, she found herself clenching the steering wheel just thinking about it. When Booth told her she couldn't be intimidated he had not been exaggerating. It was rare that Cam across a person she couldn't control through one method or another, she had tried stepping back, she had tried calling a truce, she had tried being intimidating and even threatening her job but nothing seemed to get through to her. Cam had been dealing with power struggles and office politics for many years, she was astoundingly good at the game and she didn't like loosing. If the circumstances were different Cam would be complimenting Dr. Brennan on her ability to remain so non-reactive, so completely cool and removed.

Then there was the relationship with Booth. It was never quite clear what was going on between the two of them, they weren't sleeping together and from what Cam had gathered, they had never even gone out on any kind of a date, but there was definitely something there. It had disturbed her greatly when Booth had stated that he was with Brennan 100 and at first Cam was going to close herself off from him all together, but instead she decided to pursue a relationship with him. She figured at least it would divide his loyalties and a small part of her took satisfaction in thinking it would make a statement to Brennan. So why hadn't there been fireworks when she asked her about it this afternoon? It had been disappointing and anticlimactic for Cam when the reaction she had been hoping for didn't come. She took a deep breath and cleared her head, she was almost to Booth's apartment and she wanted to focus on him and leave all this behind for the weekend.

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Seeley was pacing in his apartment, he felt like his life was spinning out of control and he couldn't figure out when it was he had let go of the wheel. He hated being introspective, but he hated being unsure of what was going on his own life even more. He had royally screwed up the situation with Bones and he knew it, but he had no idea how to fix it. He had let her be put in a situation in which she felt all her friends had betrayed her by lying for him, it was a sin of omission but he knew that distinction wouldn't matter to her. Now she was in some kind of trouble and there was no one she could turn to for help. How had he let this happen? He scolded himself for his thoughts, Angela was right about one thing, he was equally to blame, Cam may have been willing but he did take her up on her offer. It was stupid on a grand scale. He tried to imagine how he would take it if she came by the FBI building all the time to bring him cases and then he found out she was sleeping with Cullen, who had been hired in over his head and everyone there knew it and had not told him. The thought made his stomach turn and his fists clench and it was only then that he realized the full impact of what he had done. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, it wasn't just about the sex, it was the act of betrayal. He had worked harder to win her trust than he had anyone in his life and then he had broken it without a second thought. His chest hurt just thinking about the fact he may have lost her and the irony of it was he hadn't told her how he felt because he was afraid of ruining what they already had and now he may have done that anyway.

The knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he realized he was facing the first step in making things right. Cam stepped up against him as he opened the door, placing a kiss on his cheek and then pausing to look into his eyes.

"I was glad you called, I didn't expect to hear from you." He was looking at her with such an expression of sadness that she was caught off guard. "Seeley, what's the matter?"

"Cam we have to talk. Why don't we start with how your day was at work today?" He could see the flicker of surprise jump across her features and felt her pull away from him.

"My day was fine, why, did you hear otherwise?" Her eyes narrowed and he shut the door and turned to face her. This was not going as she had planned. "If there's something you want to discuss why don't you get us a drink and we'll sit down and discuss it?"

He walked to the fridge and took out two beers, he handed her one, forgetting that she really didn't drink beer, that was Temperance. As he realized his mistake he noticed that she was opening it anyway and as he took his first drink he struggled to push down his anger. "So let's start this again, why don't you tell me about your conversation with Bones today?"

Hearing him say Bones irritated Cam immediately, raising the hair on the back of her neck and matching the bitter aftertaste of her drink. "How about because it's none of your business? That is my work environment and I'm her boss whether she likes it or not, and conversations between us do not concern you." Her eyes were flashing despite her calm tone and he knew she was pissed.

"Well then you can just tell me about the part that did concern me and had nothing to do with the Jeffersonian or your position there but did have to do with your position in my life." For a moment she had a flicker of triumph, if he knew this much about the conversation then she had actually upset Brennan enough to force her to call Booth and complain.

"I can't believe she called you upset over that." She was baiting him.

"She didn't call me, but I have to ask myself why you don't want to get into this conversation. Why do you feel some disturbing need to try to break her and why did you tell her we were together when that is clearly not true." He was staring at her, seething now with anger.

"Dr. Brennan shows no respect for me or my position at the Jeffersonian. She seems to think she has free reign to do as she pleases and really has to answer to no one and that is just no longer true. I am not trying to break her, I'm trying to get her to follow some semblance of protocol and chain of command. As for the rest, I was under the impression we were picking up where we left off, I guess I didn't realize I was just a mindless fuck for you." Her eyes were stinging but she refused to give in to the sensation and let herself blink or cry.

"You were the one who said it couldn't happen again and that is was a mistake that was better off forgotten, so don't stand there now acting all emotional like you have been invested because I know you better than that and I won't be manipulated in all this. I have seen you exactly twice, even if I did have intension for a relationship with you we were hardly at that point. You said that to hurt her and for no other reason, hell you probably slept with me just to hurt her."

"My question at this point is why do you care so much about what happens to her? She certainly seems to be able to take care of herself. You aren't going out _or staying in_ with her so just what is the situation between you and the sacred Dr. Brennan? And so help me God Seeley Booth if you say she is just your friend I'll hurt you."

"There is no situation between us and there never will be. The truth is that she deserves more, she's a better person than you or I will ever be Camille, she's all self defense without the killer instinct. With or without the paycheck she would do what she does everyday because she actually cares about every one of those bodies."

"Spare me the details; she's a cold calculating socially retarded self serving bitch and it's going to be a long fall off that pedestal you have her on. As for us, we're done."

"That's what you didn't get Cam, there was no us."

"Fuck you Seeley."

"No thanks."

She slammed the door so hard on her way out that he checked the window to see if it had cracked from the impact.

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Temperance finished securing a guest pass from security and she and Russ headed to her office. The building looked the same as it always did to her and for a moment she wondered if she hadn't just imagined the whole incident. She unlocked her office and dropped her files on the desk.

"Let's go take a look." Russ nodded and they headed down the hall. Once they had the door open Russ approached the computer, it was on and seemed to be running some type of defragmentation program, but everything seemed strangely normal.

"Maybe Angela is running it to make sure everything is working correctly. They don't usually take that long, let's go back to your office and I'll take a little nap on your sofa while you get some work done and then we'll come back and check on it." He was starting to look tired, she forgot that he had traveled today and that always seemed to sap your energy.

"You look like you could use a nap, I have at least a couple of hour's worth of work anyway." They went back to the office and Temperance got herself organized at her desk, by the time she looked up Russ was fast asleep. She smiled over at him, glad he was with her.

It was several hours later when Temperance shook Russ lightly awake.

"Come on Russ, I've done as much as I'm going to do tonight, let's go home." He sat up and stared at her for a moment, disoriented by his surroundings and confused by Tempe's voice waking him. It had been years since he had heard her call his name from sleep. He ran his hands through his rumpled hair and rubbed his face, clearing his thoughts.

"Let's go look at the stupid computer one more time before we go, that is why I came with you tonight." He stood and stretched his body which popped and cracked in protest.

"Okay, let me get my things packed up first so we're ready to go." She busied herself packing her things, much as she had done the night before, setting the bags by her door when she was done.

They walked to the office in silence, their steps echoing softly in the large hallway. As they reached the door they could hear the hum of the system, still running.

"That program should be finished by now, I don't…" Russ' words halted in his throat as Temperance opened the door. The program had finished running and there before them was the face of their mother. Temperance grabbed his arm, her nails sinking into his flesh.

"Tell me you see her Russ." Her voice was shaking slightly, this was the moment of truth, either something was going on or she had gone completely and quietly insane.

"I see it." His voice was a whisper and he looked as though someone had drained all the color from his face. They slowly walked forward, watching intently. She could hear Russ gasp as the image of their mother opened her eyes and looked at them.

"Temperance, you brought Russ, I couldn't be happier to see the two of you together." Her voice filled the silence like a melody.

"You can see me? You can actually see me?" Russ' voice had gone up an octave in fear and Temperance looked at him strangely, the panic was etched into his face.

"Well it's more like I can sense you Russ than actually see you. In my current state it's hard to explain. I take it you're here because your sister called you? I'm so glad to see you two have reconciled your differences because it's important that you have each other. She's the only family you have now." She smiled at them, a gentle smile and Russ could almost feel her reaching to stroke his cheek like she had in the past when calming him with her words.

"We have a father." Russ was so mesmerized by his mother's voice that when Temperance spoke it startled him and he jumped, finally turning to look at her. Her eyes were wide but she was less shocked, more focused on the actual conversation. He on the other hand felt lost and overwhelmed, unable to function within the short circuits snapping in his mind. This could not be real and if he had been drugged this was the best hallucinogenic in the history of the world.

"Your father can no longer be with you, you need to live the rest of your life without him. He can't risk it and he won't. It's not his life I'm worried about, it's yours." Russ blinked and rubbed his eyes as he watched her speak, trying to assure he was awake and fully functional.

"I've come this far alone, I can take care of myself. I don't need you to worry about me. I would, however, like to see my father, to talk to him. I have questions that I'd like him to answer. I don't think even you knew everything that happening back then." Temperance was speaking as though there was a real person in the room; she was pausing and waiting for a response. Even more amazing to Russ was that the face of his mother was answering.

"Temperance I knew this would be hard for you but you have to accept that you may never have all the answers and looking for them will have too high a price. You and Russ have already paid so much; I'm asking you to walk away from this, please, just walk away. Do this one thing for me."

"Why? Why should I do anything for you?" Russ turned to look at his sister, not fully aware that tears were moving down his cheeks, he was chilled by the cold tone of her voice.

"What can I say to convince you that this is important? I don't have much time; this window of opportunity to talk to you will only be open to me for a short while. I understand that you're angry and hurt and even that you would be willing to risk your own life but are you willing to risk Russ' too? Have you thought about what it will do to Russ if something happens to you? You're a brilliant woman Temperance, think this through, think it all the way through, the risks are not going to go away. When is it going to be over? When all of you are dead? Let your father live with his sins and move on with your lives. Russ, talk to her."

Russ was just staring, still in shock, the sound of his mother's voice poured over him and his brain was flooded with memories of her, of his life. He was barely registering the conversation.

Temperance walked over and placed her hand on his arm, "Russ, look at me." She waited for him to absorb the request and turn to her, "are you okay?"

He shook his head no and she slid her hand down his arm and took his hand. They stood for a moment just watching the face together, unified by all the emotions swimming within them.

"We need a couple of days to talk about this and figure out together what we want to do. Can we come back here in a couple of days and let you know what we've decided?"

There was a long pause, "Okay but only a couple of days, I hope I can arrange to come back by then. I'll try but even if I do it will be the last time you see me, it'll be good bye. Please think carefully, I love you both so much, there is so much more that life has to offer, you should both be living for your future not digging through your past. I'll see you in two days. Goodnight." As soon as the last word left her lips the image dissolved and the projector shut off, throwing them into the darkness of the office. Temperance squeezed Russ' hand and led him to the door and out into the hallway.

"Tempe, what the fuck was that? We can't both be crazy. I just don't know what to think, you were right, she was so real, and the sound of her voice, even though you told me I was still unprepared for it to be so exactly her. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

"Russ, calm down, I don't know what it was yet but I know it wasn't our mother." His eyes were wildly darting about and he was pacing in the hallway, his hands clenched at his sides. Temperance had never seen him so afraid. "Russ, listen to me. It sounded like her but the phrasing is wrong. Our mother would have referred to our father as 'your dad', not 'your father' and she would not have said he had sins to live with; she was not religious in that way. Think about it Russ, the verbiage is off, that's her voice but not how she spoke. I want to come up with some questions that only our mother could possibly answer for Sunday night. I know in my heart that isn't her speaking to us which still leaves us with the questions of who is doing this and how."

He knew she was right but there was just too much information in his head. "Let's go home and get some sleep, we can sort this out in the morning when I can think clearly. Right now I can't get past the fact I just spent 10 minutes watching you talk to a floating head that looked and sounded like mom." He gave her a weak smile which she returned before they went to gather their stuff and headed out of the building.

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In the distance a pair of eyes followed the siblings as they climbed into their car and left the parking lot.

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Talk to me…press the button and speak your mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Self Preservation

Disclaimer: They aren't mine but I don't have to ask to borrow them and have no time limit on how long I can keep them so, I'm good.

Rating: A mere T for some adult subject matter.

Russ opened his eyes and rubbed his face as he thought through the events of the previous night. Even though Temperance had told him about seeing the face of their mother it was completely different to see it for himself. He thought he was over it; he had mandatory counseling when he was in prison and he had grieved, moved on with his life. He was surprised at how quickly the emotions had overwhelmed him. He stretched in the bed, hearing his sister moving about he briefly wondered how long she had been up and a small smile came to him. She had never been a sleeper, even as a child his mother had always said she recharged in just a few hours, he could count the handful of times he had actually witnessed her sleeping. He was secretly glad she had been born with the brilliant brain in the family and was sure that he would not have handled it as well as she did. Despite the alienation and the restless stirrings that came with her staggering intelligence she had found a way to be herself, to appreciate things that he would never understand and to use her gift to actually do some good in the world. He was impressed with the woman she had become although she still needed help with pop culture and social skills, he started laughing to himself at the memories that thought prompted. He decided to get up and let her know he was awake so she would quit trying to be quiet, trying being the operative word.

Temperance smiled when he came into the kitchen, in his sweats and t-shirt with the hair a mess he was the brother she remembered.

"Good morning Russ, I was going to have a gourmet breakfast of cereal, an English muffin, coffee and orange juice, are you in?" She was smiling brightly, looking like she had never had a tired moment in her life.

"Good morning, definitely count me in on breakfast." He started to laugh suddenly, "We're wearing the same thing and you always ate cereal it's just these weird flashes of deja vu from our childhood, you know?"

Temperance looked down at her t-shirt and sweats and started to chuckle softly, she had been feeling the flashbacks triggered both by her mother and having Russ here. "I do know, I've been feeling the same thing. Having you here is nice but it does make me think of our childhood which was happy but painful to think about now, it's confusing."

"Hey, I'm sure it'll fade, my therapist always said it would, once you process the grief you're allowed to remember your loved one as happy without feeling guilty. At least that's what they say." She shot him a surprised look as she took items from the fridge, ignoring the flash of Booth that hit her as she reached for the door handle. "Yes, I had therapy when I did time and to tell you the truth it really helped."

"Well it's nice to know our tax dollars in the prison system are doing something positive." Her smile told him she was kidding and he relaxed, he mentally chided himself, this was his sister, he needed to just relax.

"Are we going back to the Jeffersonian today?"

She placed several boxes of cereal in front of him and sat down, "I don't think so, I finished a lot of the work I wanted to do last night and I think we need to strategize about how we're going to handle Sunday. You can stay through Monday, can't you?"

"I'll call work and home and make arrangements. Now what were you trying to tell me last night about mom's wording? I didn't exactly comprehend at the time." He poured some Fruit Loops into the bowl. "I love Fruit Loops, I can't believe you still eat these."

"Some things you never outgrow, I still sneak the occasional Pop Tart too."

"Oh my god, so do I, what is it about those things? I swear they're addictive."

"You were always a sugar junkie." She paused to chew for a moment, thinking about the previous night. "Last night when mom spoke to us it sounded like her voice but that head wasn't speaking the way she did. I didn't notice the first time because I was too stunned by the talking face but last night I noticed. Her phrasing was all wrong, she would have referred to our dad as _dad_ not father and she never would have made the reference to sinning. Even that part about paying too high a price, it didn't really sound like mom, that's not how she spoke."

"So what do you think it is?"

"I don't know how it's being done but it has to be a message from someone warning us not to look for dad. It has to be someone that knew us, it may even be him."

They sat in silence for a moment, letting the idea of it sink in and take hold.

"Tempe if it is dad, we can find out, there are question we can ask that dad would know and no one else and there are others we could ask that only mom would have known. If it is him or someone that knows where he is, what do we do?"

"I don't know what they want, other than getting us to stop looking. If we swear we're going to stop, they're just going to go away? That doesn't seem feasible. On the other hand if they wanted to kill us they could have done it by now. They're obviously watching us because they knew that you were with me last night, your guest pass at the Jeffersonian doesn't list your name so they had to physically see us together."

"That kind of creeps me out, to know we were being watched. Doesn't that bother you?"

"It does now that I'm thinking about it. It's the only thing that makes sense, unless the building is bugged, but that would be harder to believe than someone watching us."

They both sat and ate for a few moments, working through the ideas. She stopped when Russ put his hand over hers.

"I don't know what's going on with you two but we really should think about involving Booth at this point, or someone in law enforcement that you can trust if you know anyone else. I know it's not like me to want the cops around but I'm getting to be a little worried for your safety."

"Now you sound like him. I don't know about involving him, his contacts would be good but I'm pretty mad at him." She glanced at her brother, who sat just waiting. She knew he didn't want to pry but his expectant expression told her he was hoping she would confide in him. "He slept with Cam."

"Cam, as in Dr. Saroyan, your boss?" His expression was one of obvious shock.

"Yes, that Cam, apparently they had a fling years ago and they have been sleeping together for I don't know how long. My team knew and none of them felt they could tell me." She sighed heavily and set down her spoon, "It's not just that, since Cam's arrival the team has been divided between doing things her way, which is often questionable at best and my way which they have basically been forbidden to do. I decided it was best to withdraw from the situation and just do my job but Cam doesn't seem satisfied with that, she seems driven to break me in some way. The whole situation has become too difficult and I just took myself out of the equation. It's not like Booth and I are seeing each other, and we have both been in other relationships while we've been partners but Cam just felt like a slap in the face." He could see the tears gathering along her lower lashes, a blink away from spilling down her cheeks.

"Did he do it to hurt you?"

"No, I don't think so, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I just think he didn't think about it until it was too late and she will take every opportunity to needle me with it now that she's aware that I know."

"Is he still seeing her?"

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to him about it. It was Cam that brought it up, but I had already found out so I wasn't shocked. It's just this power struggle she insists on trying to engage me in and I don't want to be involved."

"You might now want to be involved in the office politics but you do want to be involved with Booth or this wouldn't be so painful for you. You two have feelings for each other whether you ever decide to act on them or not is up to you. I think you need to talk to Booth about all of it though and clear the air. You didn't want to lose him as a friend and as a partner and I can't believe you would let Cam take that from you too. You have a say so in all this, you can call him. As for the rest of the team, they didn't want to tell you because they didn't want to see you hurt. Cam is just like the new kid at school, they're all playing out their little roles of hierarchy that you're so fond of discussing. Come on Tempe, this is basic social anthropology, she's the new queen bee, all the workers are trying to fall in line, look at it objectively. I can't believe any of them wanted to hurt you."

He could see her thinking and knew behind those bright eyes, her brain was moving at an alarming rate, processing, rationalizing, sorting. "I guess a conversation with Booth is inevitable and his input on all this would be helpful, not to mention his connections if we need information." The truth of it was that she would feel better if Booth knew what was happening, this situation felt like it was getting bigger than the two of them could handle on their own. Tempe couldn't think of anything happening to Russ. "Okay, I'll call him and see if he can meet us today but you'll have to entertain Parker while I talk to him because I know this is his day with him. So, while we're talking about our relationships, how's yours going?"

"Ella and I are good, you know I like having her two girls around, I didn't think I would at first but most of the time they're really fun. They like to play hard, catch, football, outdoor stuff, I like that. Most days we're happy but we do have a pretty good fight every now and then."

"Do you love her?"

He was surprised she asked, forgetting just how blunt she could be, "I think I do, most days I'm just afraid to admit it." Temperance just smiled a knowing smile at him and finished her breakfast.

After drinking the last of her coffee she went to the phone, taking a deep breath she hit the speed dial and waited.

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Seeley Booth officially hated IHOP. He was sure that it was irresponsible to have full containers of syrup on tables where they knew children would be sitting. He sat dipping a napkin into a water glass trying in vain to remove the sticky substance from both Parker and himself. It was futile, there were small sticky spots everywhere Parker had touched him after pouring the substance over his plate and onto the table and the seat. It wasn't Parkers fault; the easy pour containers should have some kind of safety latch, like his gun, to keep accidents from happening. All Seeley could smell was the sweet maple scent, he sipped his coffee hoping to get a reprieve for his senses. His phone was ringing and as he went to open it his palm peeled away slowly and he knew there was syrup there too.

"Booth." He said it more harshly than he had intended, too distracted by his situation to have glanced at the caller id.

"Hi Booth." It was all she could manage to say, not sure of where to begin with everything she needed to say. It was silent on the line for a moment. "Are you there?"

"Yes, I'm just surprised to hear from you."

"Well to be honest I'm not completely comfortable with calling but I do need to talk to you and it's important. The problem is I have a lot to say so I'd like to meet you. I know you have Parker today so the playground in the mall or that mouse and cheese place would be fine."

"How about the park?" He smiled as she spoke, and decided against telling her it was Chuck E. Cheese.

"It's a long story but I'd rather meet you somewhere inside a building, if that's okay with you." She knew it was bothering him, not knowing what she was talking about but he'd have to handle it for now.

"I thought you were working today Bones?" He sounded suspicious and she wondered why he was asking.

"I was but I decided against it, this is more important at the moment and I am still working a case."

"Bones, what's going on?" He was starting to sound worried.

"Just name the place Booth so we can meet and get thing straightened out between us." Even as she said it she wondered what they could say that would fix things between them, she just want to pound on him until she felt better and right now, that could take some time.

"Okay, we've already had breakfast so Parker is going to have some energy to get rid of, let's meet at Chuck E. Cheese in half an hour, the one you met us at for his birthday." She could hear Parker, squealing in the back ground, having heard their plans. Russ called from the hallway, looking for towels and within the IHOP noise Seeley heard her cover the phone and speak to someone.

"See you in half an hour Booth."

"Yeah." He snapped his phone shut, and felt the anger surge up within him. Whoever she was seeing yesterday was still there, had spent the night with her. His fingers curled into fists. Why was he so angry? She had slept with other men; he had even met a couple of them. Why did the thought of someone touching her all of a sudden evoke such a strong reaction in him?

"Daddy, are we going to Chuck E. Cheese? Are we? Are we going now?" Booth turned his attention to his son, pushing her to the back of his mind.

"Yeah buddy we are, let's pay the bill and hit the road." Taking Parker's hand in his he felt the remaining sticky film. "You know what, after we pay the bill we're going to make a detour into the bathroom to get some of that syrup off first."

"Then we're going to hit the road?"

"Yes, then we'll head straight over to see the big mouse."

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Once in the car Seeley tried to evaluate his situation with Bones. He wondered if she had slept with someone last night to even the score with him and then immediately dismissed the thought, that wasn't her style. If he mentioned it to her she would be asking him, _what score?_ He had no idea what he was going to say to her, how he could make her understand that on one hand he had these feelings for her and on the other he thought it was okay to have sex with her boss. If he couldn't make it sound right in his own head then how could he possibly make it sound right to her? He was a little concerned about her phone call, it had to mean something had happened with this whole computer thing Angela had told him about yesterday. Angela, shit he had to call her, she was supposed to meet Bones at the Jeffersonian to talk to her and Bones said she wasn't going into work. He quickly dialed her number and filled her in on the changes in the morning plan, promising to let her know what he found out about the situation. As he pulled into the parking lot at Chuck E. Cheese he realized he was nervous, maybe it was Angela's parting comment for him not to blow this or maybe it was his own fear of having ruined his relationship with her. Either way, he knew this conversation needed to go well.

He looked at Parker in the rear view mirror; he had fallen asleep almost as soon as they got into the car. Rebecca said he had been up early knowing this was the day he was going to see his dad. Booth knew he couldn't let him sleep for long or his whole schedule would be off for the day. He turned around and gently woke his son, smiling as he shook off sleep in favor of going to play.

Seeley sat in a booth with one eye on Parker and the other on the door. There weren't very many people in the restaurant, which was rare and he was grateful not to be assaulted by the usual noise. He was shredding small pieces off his napkin when they walked through the door. He couldn't believe she had brought someone with her. Was she bringing her date to introduce them? His stomach turned with instant nausea and he wondered if he could get Parker and find another way out when she spotted him. They were only a few feet from the table when Seeley allowed himself to look at the man and he realized it was Russ. His relief was so overwhelming that he laughed and enthusiastically shook Russ' hand. They were both staring at him strangely.

"Sit, relax, do you want to order something?" Seeley suddenly didn't know what to say but was saved by Parker rushing to the table to greet them.

"We just ate but I'd love some coffee." Temperance began to chuckle then, having recalled what she had said to Booth the previous night she knew why he was so happy to see Russ. She slid into the booth across from him.

"I think you two might need a few minutes, so Parker and I are going to play skeet ball." He turned to face Temperance, "let me know when you need me." He reached out and gave her hand a quick squeeze before running off with Parker. The gesture caught Booth's attention and made him smile. He was so used to thinking of her as all alone in the world that he sometimes forgot she had Russ.

When she turned her gaze to him he shrank back under the intensity of her stare. "Temperance I'd like a chance to explain."

"Booth that's not really why I'm here, you don't owe me an explanation. You're free to do whatever you want with your life, it's really none of my business." Her voice was cool and that veil of detachment had dropped over her eyes.

"You may not think I owe it to you, but I do, so just give me a moment." He was suddenly nervous, trying to pull his thoughts together, to remember what he was going to say to her. Temperance watched him struggle, part of her wishing she could just go back to the way things were before and forget all this, but the hurt part of her wouldn't allow it.

"Fine, take your moment."

"Remember when Michael came to town? You were in a bad place in your life and he showed up and you were just glad to see someone familiar. You got involved with him without thinking about the big picture at the time because he was someone you thought you knew. There was no reason to think he had changed since you saw him last and even if he had it shouldn't have mattered. The thing was it did matter and you paid dearly for it." He paused, taking a deep breath and a drink of his water. "When Cam showed up I had just come out of that thing with Rebecca and I was feeling disjointed and we had had two rough cases in a row. She was familiar like Michael was to you. I didn't think about the big picture or how it would affect everyone else, especially you. I didn't know she had changed into someone so self serving, so controlling and manipulative. I wanted to believe she was still the good person I knew and by the time I found out differently it was too late. I know I'll pay for it for a long time." He was swirling the ice in his glass, fussing with his drink like he always did when uncomfortable. "Later I thought about what it would be like to be you, I imagined it being you and Cullen and my team keeping it from me and I have to tell you, it made me nauseous. It made me realize how it must have felt and I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I never wanted to be someone that caused you any pain." Her eyes were shining and she knew if she blinked she would cry. Damn him. When he continued it caught her off guard. "I have a proposition for you."

She busied herself taking a drink as he had done. She was surprised that he said something she could so clearly understand. There were flaws to the parallels he drew but she knew what he meant and she also knew he was right. It didn't make her feel better. "What kind of proposition ?" Her curiosity was greater than her diminishing hostility.

"Until we have whatever it is between us figured out we don't see other people. That way we don't have interference and we aren't in any hurry. Eventually we'll come to the point where we're willing to give what ever this is a chance or we're both ready to just move on. At the very least it'll give us a chance to think without hurting each other, even if it is accidental."

She looked shocked, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted as though she was going to speak. "You're going to abstain from sex for as long as it takes us to determine what kind of relationship we have?"

"Don't sound like that's so impossible and I'm suggesting we both abstain. I can certainly do it if you can, and I'm willing, to get this settled once and for all."

"Okay, but understand that right now I still feel like punching you repeatedly."

"Okay? You'll do it? Starting today, right now?" He was grinning at her.

"Yes, as of right now but if I'm not mistaken this is going to cause you more immediate problems than it is me." She held her face, not wanting to smile at him yet, the thought of Cam making it easier.

"No, no problem at all. Now what else did you want to talk to me about?"

Starting from the beginning she told him every incident with her mother's head, the possible theories she and Russ had formed and the realization that they were probably being followed. She tried to remain objective but as she recounted the sound of her mother's voice, how lifelike the image had been and the realization the next day that her phrasing wasn't correct her voice faltered. He wanted to reach out for her hand but he knew that he had forfeited the privilege so instead he placed his hand on the table palm up as an offer. He was surprised when she slipped her hand into his, a small hesitant move that she allowed for only a moment before drawing it back.

"Well if someone was tapping into the computer we need to talk to an expert about how it could be done. I can speak to a guy at work and see if he can help us in that department. Now I know why you wanted to meet here."

"We took a taxi and made several changes, in the front of one building and out the back into another taxi, the way you showed me. I don't think we were followed here and I'm not sure we're being followed beyond the vicinity of the Jeffersonian. I'll know more after we ask the questions tomorrow night. Why do I keep smelling maple syrup?"

"It's me, it's a long story involving Parker and breakfast." She was looking at him oddly but he decided to continue. "I'd like to come over and go through those tonight if it's okay with you and Russ; I might be able to help. I have to take Parker back by eight so I could come by after that, bring some Thai food and we can brainstorm together. In the meantime I want you two to write down that list of things only you and your parents would know so we can work off of it later."

"Okay, make sure you bring enough pad thai and steamed dumplings, Russ loves those."

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In the cab on the way back to her building Russ watched her, something was still on her mind. "You're awfully quiet Temperance, what's bothering you?"

"Do you believe in love at first sight Russ? Have you ever had it happen to you?"

"Wow Tempe you are full of some big questions today." He stopped and ran hi hand through his hair. "Yes I believe in love at first sight. A long time ago I met a girl and I don't know how to explain it but I was compelled to get to know her, to be around her. The minute I saw her it was like I knew her and also like she knew me. It was so strange and yet it felt so right somehow. I probably shouldn't be your relationship guide I really not very good at it myself."

"You're doing better than I am. What happened to the girl?"

His eyes softened and he moved his gaze to the window, "she's dead. She over dosed, we had been together two years. I followed her into drugs; I would've followed her anywhere. After she died I was a mess, high all the time. I got careless, that's how I ended up in jail. In a way it was a good thing, I cleaned up, saw a shrink and studied. There wasn't much else to do." When he looked back his eyes were shining. She felt bad for bringing up such a painful event.

"I'm so sorry Russ, I didn't mean to upset you. I really didn't."

"Hey, it's okay, it was a long time ago. When I met Ella there was a spark there. Was it love at first sight? I don't know and I'm too afraid to think about it, so I don't." She was looking at him, eyebrow raised. "Don't look at me like that Temperance Brennan, we may have ended up in different shapes but we were cut from the same cloth."

She burst out laughing not only because it was funny but because she understood what it meant. It felt good to laugh and she missed it more than she realized until that moment. She ended up telling him all about her conversation with Booth, including their deal.

"So, let me get this straight. He dumped Cam and he has sworn to an agreement that neither of you will have sex with any one until you decide whether or not you're going to have it with each other? Excellent. This is going to be really interesting."

"Russ you can't say anything to him, promise me."

"Oh, I promise. You certainly don't need help complicating your life, you're doing a fine job of it on your own." He was laughing at all the possibilities. "This is better than Days of Our Lives."

"I don't know what that means. Russ if you don't stop laughing I swear I'm going to punch you."

He covered his mouth but he was still snickering as the cab pulled into her lot.

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